Tips For Age-Appropriate Talks Along The Way- Guest Post
Guest post by Ryan Broadhouse
This article was originally posted on Ryan’s website on October 9, 2025. You can find more of his writings on his website.
Ryan serves as the Senior Pastor at Westminster PCA in Fort Myers, FL, where his heart is first and foremost for the local church."
I'm thankful for Ryan and his preaching and teaching ministry, which I have benefited from as a pastor in serving others. This week, I was thankful and blessed to read the following from Ryan's ministry blog. I encourage you to read the following if you have kids, teens, or grandkids who are pre-teens or teens. I hope this is a blessing to you, your family, and future generations of children!
Tips For Age-Appropriate Talks Along The Way
When my wife took our eldest daughter on her recent ‘coming of age’ trip, as she described what sex was and how it worked, our daughter’s immediate response was: “You guys did that FIVE times?” To which my wife said, “… yes, only five.”
No, Amy actually took the opportunity to explain how sex is not only for procreation but for pleasure within the context of a marriage between a man and a woman. But this illustrates the importance of not seeing ‘the talk’ as a one-off that we can get through it, check mark our box as ‘done’, and never mention it again. The goal for Christian parents must be to continually follow-up and navigate these things with our children. And really, we need to start by laying a foundation for healthy discussion from an early age that progresses as our kids get older.
And so, as a follow-up to my last post about navigating ‘the talk’ from a Christian perspective, one of the things I mentioned was how really this should involve multiple ‘talks’ about sex and gender with your kids over the course of their lives. Indeed, this is how God has designed the discipleship of our children to be from the get go. In Deuteronomy 6, we read:
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” – Deuteronomy 6:4-9
We should be talking to our kids about the things of God at every opportunity – in the morning and evening, when we walk the dog or drive to school, at dinner and at the football game. The same principle is true when it comes to talking to your kids about sex. NOT that you have to get into the ‘nitty gritty’ of it constantly, but we want to make it a normal & safe thing to talk to Mom/Dad about this kind of stuff. This regular rhythm of talking to your kids about God’s design for marriage, family, sexuality, and gender will do much more to prepare them to navigate the complexities of questions they may have at the various stages of life. And really what we’re doing is the age old tool of “catechesis”. If you’re unfamiliar with that term, you actually do it all the time by training your kids for rote memorization for their own good and/or safety – teaching them to look both ways before crossing the street, say “please” or “thank you” or “excuse me”, etc. Using an actual catechism can be all the more helpful when seeking to instill God’s truth into your children’s hearts and minds, even if they don’t immediately understand the words they memorize. You’re laying a foundation for a biblical worldview that you’ll explain more thoroughly over the years they are under your care.
You can refer to my last post here were I specifically get into what ground you need to cover with your pre-teen when you finally do sit down to have honest conversations around what sex is by God’s design. But let me encourage you to not let that be the final stop; it should be the launch pad for the relationship moving into the teens years and beyond. Regular check-ins to see what questions they’re having, what things they’re viewing or hearing, and continuing to maintain that Mom/Dad are going to be a safe and trustworthy space to help them – including if & when they may fail in some way. We want their response in the moment of a ‘big sin’ not to be “I messed up my Mom/Dad are gonna kill me!” but rather to be “I messed up… I need to call my Mom/Dad.” This is the posture our Heavenly Father takes with us when he invites us to call out to him as “Abba, Father” in our moment of need, reminding us we don’t have to operate out of a spirit of slavery but out of the spirit of adoption as sons of God (Romans 8:15).
A wise principle to abide by in all these things is that “We must never be embarrassed to talk about – in the right way – what God was not embarrassed to create.” May we not forget that marriage, family, gender, and sexuality are GOOD gifts from a GOOD God. Of course, the world, the flesh, and the devil want to corrupt such good gifts, and so we need to prepare our children. But don’t let the intimidation of the topic(s) keep you from shepherding your kids. God did NOT make a mistake when he made YOU their parent. The eternal God of the Universe knew every possible situation & scenario and decided that YOU would be the best person to be your child’s mom or dad – flaws & all. So bear up that mantle & live it out.
Below you’ll find a chart to help you navigate these many ‘talks’ in age appropriate ways as your children grow, followed by a list of resources you may find helpful as you navigate these ages and stages of parenthood.
Psalm 90:12 says: “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Have you ever sat and thought about how many total days you really get with your kids? Would you be surprised to know that you only get roughly 6,600 days with your kids from the time they’re born until they turn 18? Now, that may sound like a lot, until you start to realize that by the time your kid turns 9 years old, you’ve only got ab 3,300 days left. You’re already half-way there – At only 9! If you have a 7th grader, you’re roughly ⅔ the way there with only ab 1,900 days remaining. When your kid hits their senior year that’s about 120 days left, give or take. So may God teach us to number our days so that we may gain a heart of wisdom with how to use the days we have left.
I realize some of you may feel guilt or be worried you didn’t get started sooner, and that’s okay. Be faithful where you are right now. And here’s the cool thing about being in a Christian home (imperfect as it may be): the Lord cares more about your kids’ holiness and instruction in these things than even you do. So rest in that truth, draw strength from that truth, and never be embarrassed to talk about – in the right way – what God was not embarrassed to create.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
The New City Catechism for kids (Small booklet OR Free app)
God Made All Of Me: A Book To Help Children Protect Their Bodies by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb
The Pop Culture Parent: Helping Kids Engage Their World For Christ by Ted Turnau, Stephen Burnett, & Jared Moore
Mom, Dad… What’s Sex?: Giving Your Kids a Gospel-Centered View of Sex and Our Culture by Jessica Thompson & Joel Fitzpatrick
Finally Free: Fighting For Purity With The Power of Grace by Heath Lambert
Harvest USA (website) harvestusa.org
